InuYasha's Musings
by Misti Star
Summary: As the new moon rises, so does InuYasha's restlessness. A one shot on his thoughts during this time.


This is a bit strange for me, due to the fact that I like Naraku more than I like InuYasha, but I just wanted to do a little ficlet about the hanyou, just to see what the results would turn out to be... Once again, hates me and refuses to show my paragraph indentations, which is driving me insane... If anyone can help me, please do! 

Quiet footfalls led the young hanyou further into the forest that he now sought solace in. His dark eyes were slightly clouded by his emotions, yet otherwise he seemed no different. He seemed no different from any of the other ningen that inhabited feudal Japan. Once more, the new moon had come and had left InuYasha nearly paralyzed with his usual and sudden rush of emotions. During these nights, however, two things took up the majority of his thoughts. They were his feelings for Kagome and Kikyou and his past.

How did he feel about them? He did still care for Kikyou, he'd been willing to do anything for her before she had died, why should that change after? But still...Kikyou was dead...she wanted him dead.. Despite this, he still couldn't bring himself to leave her alone and to her fate. Every time he saw her face, his memories of her stirred and he was sent back to the time before she had died, to a time where he felt that she would be the only person aside from his mother that saw him as another person. He knew Kikyou harbored an unfair hatred towards him, but he couldn't bring himself to hate her back. He hadn't had even a year to become accustomed to her death before she returned, there had been no time for him to move on. Before that though, Kagome had appeared and he had grown close to her as well. Perhaps it was because she was Kikyou's reincarnate..but then again they acted nothing alike.. Kikyou had been quiet and reserved, Kagome was anything but. The only thing that the two had shared was their want to be with him. The entire situation confused him greatly. He had gone from having others hate him to having two women, and a few friends, care enough about him to die for him. InuYasha shook his head quickly, a scowl now upon his face as he tried to force away his thoughts on Kikyou and Kagome. He didn't understand either of them when he was hanyou, how could he possibly when he was human! As the thoughts faded, new ones came forward, taking their place.

When he had been a child, he'd never really known his father. Supposedly he died while he was a baby. He had never really asked his mother about him because every time that he did, she would become sad. No matter how hard he had tried, he just couldn't feel the same way about him as his mother had. He tried to get caught up in the few stories that she told about him, but he seemed more like a made up hero than his father. His mother had been the only person that he truly knew. His father had died before he could come to know him. Sesshoumaru...well.. When he was still a child, Sesshoumaru had been an older teenager as well as one of the youngest Daimyo. After their father died, Sesshoumaru had taken on all of his responsibilities. InuYasha, being a typical younger brother, had idolized his older brother. His mother had always pleaded with Sesshoumaru to teach InuYasha the things that he would need to know, but the lessons came far and few between usually ending with the two being frustrated and at each others throats. As time drew on, Sesshoumaru grew more and more dedicated to his position as Western Lord and InuYasha began to see less and less of him. And then...then his mother had taken ill.. InuYasha had watched her rapid deterioration and when no one was capable of saving her, he fled and began a life of his own, still only a child. It was later in his new life that he met Kikyou.

Once more InuYasha shook these thoughts from his mind with an indignant "Feh!" as well. He impatiently stared upwards at the slowly rising sun, inwardly pleading with it to hurry along with its ascent so that he could be free of his past as well as his feelings. He stood like that for quite awhile, growing a bit stiff and beginning to accumulate the morning dew. Finally, he closed his eyes as he felt the physical change occur that brought him back to his preferred, hanyou state. Though after he had changed, he still stood there lost in thought. He stood there until he heard her call his name.

"InuYasha!" cried Kagome, hurrying up to him. "Where have you been? I started to get worried when you didn't show back up."

He gave her an annoyed look before crossing his arms and saying simply, "Feh. There's nothin' to be worried about. I can take care of myself."

"I know.." she replied softly, giving him a small smile. "But that won't stop me from worrying about you."

"I don't need any worrying." he retorted. "Especially from a human."

Kagome's eye twitched before she spun and began to storm off. "Fine, I won't worry then!"

"Fine! See if I care!"

"Fine!" InuYasha glared off angrily ahead of him, shaking his head slowly. Neither human nor hanyou, he would never understand Kagome...


End file.
